Already Broken
by River-Pond-Melody-Song
Summary: You can't break something that's already broken, as Ciel comes to find out. Angsty Ciel fic, pre-Kuroshitsuji.


**Hey guys...! First Kuroshitsuji fanfiction after watching 10 episodes of season 1... it's really angsty...**

**... but there's a story behind it.**

**Guess what word count number I got when I finished writing this.**

**Come on ,guess.**

**Nothing?**

**Okay. It was 666.**

**Me: O.O WHAT THE FISH.**

**I changed it immediately. Now it's 667 words. XD**

**I'm a little creeped out...**

**but enjoy anyway.**

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**~o~o~o~Already Broken~o~o~o~**

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Ciel lay in his bed that night, for once unable to get to sleep, the darkness swirling around him like a blanket of fear and worry. Furtively, he glanced at the crack under the door, trying to see if there was a light sliding underneath from Sebastian's candelabra. There he saw nothing.

_Nor do I feel anything._

With a sigh aloud, Ciel grabbed his family ring from his bedside nightstand, slipping it onto his finger and twisting it back and forth, back and forth, feeling the roughness of the silver and staring at the sharp-facetted cyan jewel in the ring's center. How he missed them. His parents. Never in his life had he felt the urge to release his emotions as he did now. Around his butler and his servants, he remained an emotionless stone wall, never showing his faltering, his pain of two years' worth of ripping his soul to pieces.

"That's all Sebastian will get, is pieces," Ciel muttered, burrowing under the silken covers and letting the first tears fall. Things had never been the same since the fire that tore his life away. He wanted to go back to that time before everything had gotten so ridiculous. He was bound by a Faustian contract with this demon who was no more than his pawn, barred from the gates of Heaven for all eternity, trapped in a endless cycle of hurt and longing. Briefly he contemplated what it would have been like had he not spoken those words…

"_Heheh. I'll ask once more. Do you wish to form a contract with me?"_

"_I do! Now stop asking these tedious questions and let me know if we have a deal!"_

… things would have been different. But then he'd be just some helpless little Phantomhive brat, the Queen's dog, never being able to get revenge on his parents. And that made his feel absolutely sick.

Tears streaming down his face, Ciel screamed, agonized, throwing off his covers and grabbing a bedside vase. Absentmindedly, he threw it against the wall in his fury, the pieces shattering against the darkness, little flecks of white among a black abyss. Whoever killed his parents, whoever started the fire, whoever did this to him, would pay soon enough.

"Damn them all," Ciel said through gritted teeth. The door opened and Sebastian peeked his head in the doorway, worried eyebrows framing his face.

"My lord?"

"Get out, Sebastian." All Ciel saw was red as he gripped his bedsheets tight between his fingers. Everything was burning, burning, burning…

"Is that an order, Ciel?"

"I said _get out!_" The young master shrieked, not daring to look his butler in the eye. He'd kill Sebastian if he did. _Burning, burning, my world is burning…_

"Yes… my lord." With a sigh, Sebastian turned on his heel and left, closing the door softly behind him.

Ciel couldn't see. All he saw was crimson and tears. Slowly, as if in a trance, he got out of his bed, walking across the floor toward the shattered glass, not bothering to wipe the tears from his eyes.

_Burning and bleeding…_

He stepped into the pile of glass shards, the pieces stinging his feet and cutting them. He could see the blood seeping from his skin onto the floor, but he didn't care. Revenge was all that mattered to him.

Ciel stooped to ground level, picking up the ornately decorated shard with his thumb and index finger, holding the glass up to the light so that it reflected the bright white moon. He never thought he'd let his emotions get to him this way, but then he realized the truth –

_You can't break me. You can't._

The moonlight felt peaceful on his face; this was the closest he'd ever get to paradise his parents had already reached.

_You can't break something that's already broken._

He and the shattered vase were the same, in a way - they were both broken, shattered, never to be pieced back together again.

His hand wrapped around the glass's sharp edges, and he felt the blood run down his arm, snaking down to the floor as quietly as death's call.

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**Review are appreciated!**

**My inspiration for writing this:**

_**Can't Break Me by ellen-grieves on deviantART**_

**What I was listening to:**

_**To Zanarkand (Final Fantasy X soundtrack)**_

_**Si Deus me Relinquit (Kuroshitsuji soundtrack)**_


End file.
